Then

If I could put a pen and paper to my head, I'll tell ya.  I'm getting too southern there, or Pittsburgh.  whatever.

Its times like these that make you question everything. Question your entire world. But that's, or those, are both statements uttered all the time in this sick world.  So, does this one, by myself, have or make any difference?  No.  But it's still worth noting, and even writing about, especially in my non-creative/conformist stages. 

There has been a lot of death lately; thinking about it, I assumed it was our age.  But, as we see children all around us growing into adults, or just bigger children, we can be reminded, life also happens a lot.  3 deaths in the last year is not one in which my average 1 death a year childhood and manhood can handle quite as well.  My mom is having a hard time with it, but that's to be expected.  And the settling down after my father's passing.  My family is coping.

And there's life. It goes on.

But, I still beg the question, should everything be questioned, should everything change?  Change is good.  Change is bad.  I question myself daily, hourly, probably minutely, so it's no wonder that I am sitting here questioning everything.  But what is everything.  God is everything.  Well that won't change.  But how I get through my daily routine, how I survive to the next day, and how I am here now and what to do are all questioned.

I need an answer.

I once said, Selah.

I don't think that now.  I've changed.