Football....America's New Pastime

So.

I have an addiction. Football. I don't understand it, and I have no idea where it came from. Perhaps, I'm just too American; I already was a mutt, an average Joe. So, football is in my nature, maybe even my veins, and DNA, and it is where I came from. Now that is a little over-dramatic, but has some worth and truth in this addiction I hold.

So, it could be that I'm too American. Or, maybe. How I view it: as I find myself obsessed with finding insights into the psychology of people, the society around me, and mainly, myself, I attach my self to this entertainment that shows the truest and most pure emotion we have. A kind-of split second, and war-like anger, but also a calmness in battle-type of mood. Putting humans in a win or lose situation, that we, in this society, have deemed the source for domination, and ultimately, our pride. This sport not only wages humans against other humans, its the biggest, fastest, and most fearless ones. And thus is our entertainment. And, yes, thus is our New Pastime, and symbol. A game that puts man against man, and celebrates the forces that lie within, a symbol for a society that has done the same with human life and the entire world alike.

I love football. I love the emotion. I love the pride. And maybe that is my downfall.

Pride comes before the fall.

unfortunately, I got that out of Boondock Saints, not the Bible, or more in terms, God's Word.

But still I love this obsession, and we, as Americans, can sympathize; at least I hope so. Or you're un-American. Ha, ok, I got off course. And, no, I would never believe such a hypocritical statement as formed by one's loose opinion.

College football is something where you see this great source of pride, alum and current students come to join together with other current students to cheer for something they all, as one, can relate too. How many times can we as humans say that we gathered for that large of a cause. I've gathered for larger, namely, DC for God. That was years ago. And cynics and other various vices have found their way into my belief structure, and heart and soul.

Ah, as for that, I will be back on the issue, as football is something that I use as a form of entertainment, but see so much more that is seen through the game of football and its affects on society here in America.

So, selah.

And.

happy new years. and, prosper like it wasn't 2009

Globalization

When I was in Costa Rica, I participated in a rather large rally of Costa Ricans, demonstrated over a period of 3 days throughout the entire country. This experience was informally named by myself, 'No al TLC'. Which, with my uniformed impression was NAFTA and free trade agreements, I actually took it on my own during the experience to think of it as 'globalization', and simply that, and more purely in Costa Rica throughout these days, the fight against globalization. And more aptly named 'Americanization'.
And I agree, their opinions are valid, and we, most ignorantly, disregard our opinions of the capital, corporation-driven society we feed into, and give in to everyday. We, as Americans, have not stood up as a people against the economic policies and dealings our country and government have with the outcomes of our lives. We have laid ignorantly and watched, as a people, our country being destroyed from the inside out, more like from the top, down. But what can we do? Hell, I don't even know. But I do know that feeding into this market, and this society, will only lead to the disintegration of the US as the top world power. Power, nuclears, and nothing but our deep ignorances and disregard for human lives outside of these borders, have given us that position.
I digress, we do hold that position, however, our greed, and collective group-speak ignorant, passive tactics can do nothing. Even on the inside, could one make that much of a difference. And the bigger question is: can a man give himself to a cause that he know he will never make a dent in, even as hard as he may try. To know that your life is to solve one problem, cause who are we, people, with problems. So, we set out, in our respective fields to solve that problem. I'm an 'accountant', well, not yet, but working towards it; the field is solving the problem of money, and of snakes, but thats way too side-tracked for me to be goin', we'd never see the light at the end of the tunnel for this one.
But, we set out to solve problems, and most put their goals to that; I mean, I do think I can take control of a company's, or a portion of a company's, finances and deliver and perform my job to standard, thus, while solving my life's problem. And, uh, yeah, my life has a little more depth than that. But, that is only a rudimentary example; I mean only to say that if we set a life goal: a problem for which one will dedicate their life to trying to find a solution for said problem. And this life goal is unattainable, ie changing the government, or the corporate world. You're never going to end the mass corruption, and even more so and truer, greed.

Oh yeah.

Its almost Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

And a happy and prosperous new year....even though that shit looks bleak(and if the above didn't take away my credibility, than that one might have went over the line) But as humans are meant to do: we solve problems.

buena suerte y tenga un vida buena y prosperoso

Heres to the fast times, the nights we felt alive....

So, I'm not much for writing about my life specifically and sololy in the blog, even though that perhaps is probably the main reason for the creation of such a thing as a blog. But today, to relieve some pressure off my thoughts and emotions, I must. I must also say that, I feel that writing about general topics could apply to a wider audience and more general conclusion, which all I'm trying to accomplish here is an 'understanding', created through 'trying'. But, today, I will stick with inner-analyztion in this, because, even in my micro-world that I create, I must find understanding.

So, I went to my work's annual Christmas party; not so annual for me, but I did go last Christmas, as was my first with the company. Before, previous in the day, I was told that it shows well of yourself to others within the corporation. And I responded that I agreed, and have read this many times. And the work party, was a lot more than expected. Which, considering the down economy, and no raises for '09, was well-deserved and even needed to compensate for the loss. I saw many people within the company, including sitting around a fire pit with top executives around the company. The head of the whole organization, in fact. But even as I was in the presence of my peers, and even more so in the presence of such powerful people within the company itself, it felt depressing. To know that I live such a different life; and don't exactly adhere to any sort of code or standard. I want to be expressing, and against the grain. But at what cost?

I felt a lot of jealousy as well. I am flawed; very much so, actually. And, while I wouldn't have it any other way, I look at most, and say, why was I chose to have the rocky road. Yeah, we all face adversity, and trials. And, in all reality, no situation, or life, can be exactly similar. These moments and situations that create the life that we experience daily are unique, and our own. But I feel cheated. A lot. I mean, I am very blessed. But why is there that unspoken basis to determine where one is at in life. I feel pressured by this, that I most likely make in my own head, but as I compare myself to others, which is the only basis I can see to scale the life I've created, I've fallen short in every category. And have no idea how to get back on the train. Some of this has been self inflicted, but the main burden I carry was a choice, yes, but also, the only option to create the life that I thought I was entitled to. I'm not a very specific person, even in this blog, but more so in real life, but for this, there is no way to not be specific. I am over $100K in debt for attending Penn State. That amounts to almost half of the money that I make within a given month, at my current position, with no extra income earned. Half.

And I continually ask, is there a solution? I see a path in front of me that is the only way to reach those goals. But its harder than this one, I complain, and depress, myself about constantly. Specifically, on this one: going to grad school and working towards my CPA. Both, at my current position in life don't seem too probable, or imaginable. But to obtain these goals I've set, and to reach that so-called level that I, and my worldly view, have created to compare myself with others, I must work. And the two things that make one successful are preparation and opportunity. Because this is about when preparation meets opportunity. Simple, yet true.

So, summation. I'm jealous, behind, and lost.

I have a problem

OK, so. We all have problems. We all live in this society, or in any society for that matter, that creates problems. Out of solutions of others, in fact. So, our problems are merely created by others perception of what will solve their specific problems. Now before I get too off-schedule, my problem is just that; that there are so many opinions and so many forces caused by those opinions that we all will not be able to solve all of our problems all the time. Government and society are the best pictures of this. Think of the last couple presidents, and soon to be. Have you liked them? Have you disliked their views? Have you straight out hated them? Hell, for the illogical and comical, have you loved them? Whatever, it may be, there are still forces in this world, man-made forces, to be exact that create problems for us.

That might have been a good intro for this had I not gone off too long, in a nonsensical way. But either way, one must express their thoughts, to the world, to themselves, or whatever will have you. And that ONE, being me; I feel that I must write, to further our lives, and have a deeper purpose, and have understood myself, and ourselves, through self-meditation, or reflection, as such.

Back to my problem, though. Because I do have a problem. I got into a fight the other day with my mother over having the desire, and at 25, the NEED to move out, to get the hell outta here. Sorry for the personal display of emotion there; this is a blog, so that may be legal. And having the desire to move out, the only realistic option I have is to move in with someone else who can support half of that life. And who better person, than a significant other; and at 25, especially in this society, is not that out of the ordinary and the norm to which we have been brought up in, again, as a society. I do not know, I will admit, that I definitely have not been brought up in a family of a broker 24yr old couple. My parents waited for a financially, yet for them, not so much, better time in their lives, and they created my family with love, and God.

And so it was; and never would I have it any other way. I would have heard and known of God anywhere else, but nowhere I would have been so immersed in that sense of self-worth and moral-way of being. And still I believe. But to look at this world and say, 'I can live here uniformingly with God and my fellow man, without living under the net of the society, and all it consists of: government, corporation, media, and most of all in this American Capitalistic Representative Democracy, the economy.

This has been a major topic since forever; we're falling, we're rising. Our views and our society fills with economic influence from everywhere. And most of all from the listed forms that a society takes on.

But perhaps, it is the largest part of society, the people, that should be able to take heed. And not the divisions, that are so powerful, that have taken on and directed the people portion of societies for all that I have known, and since when, I don't know. But should the people not have a major say in the effects of their lives?

I question this everyday, and hate everything, because of it.

But still, I live within this tent we deem society. Yes, I am a minute percentage of that people part of society, but that is nothing, with the power of the other parts of it.
As I always seem to do. I digress.

I told my mother this.

I said I am not trying to not live religiously, or more my view, Godly, as in having a relationship with this maker of the earth. I am not trying to go against this. But I am simply saying that I live within an economic society. And most importantly, I have to make decisions based on the effects of my personal economy. Because, in turn, the other parts of the life that I am living, will be, as is my hope, even though that hope diminishes everyday, prospering. But they, as is logical, usually are adversely affected at times as well. As I told her this, I asked for only one thing, whether she understood the b/s that comes out of my mouth in person, and hell, for that matter, on paper. It gets a little jumbled within my cranium. But either way, I told her that all I asked for was understanding.

I understand that it is not correct to bend your views, especially on subjects as government and religion.

But I cannot seperate the two. And as I have seen many times, and is seen running rampant through our society in these current time, is one of those major sides of society, the economy, is failing, and falling. So what does that mean? We live in a failed society, because all parts work together, and as the government and big business have failed, so have the people.

I guess.

I also guess that my life is affected by the decisions I make, as is any unemployed, or over-employed, person. So, we control our own destinies, maybe. I'm not saying life is chance after that, but I am saying that we will chose the paths the lead to different results every which way.

And in my life, I told my mother I would move in with my girlfriend, outside of the chains of a marital relationship....

side note-
that was harsh. ok. reword.

....outsde the struggles of marriage, but to move in, to only try to further my life.

All I want, and I would think would be the majority of our wishes.

Is to have it a little bit better than our parents ever had it.

I guess the determining factor is how little.

As I continue to never follow a path with my writing, please take this away.

We are greatly affected by our chains to society, and those ARE chains, in the shackle sense.
But, do we have to always live within the confined trenches of our economy.

And as is now, our failing economy.

Selah. As one great writer put it.

I say peace, or more like hope.

B/c I lost all mine.

The end of ingnorance.....

....is a long road, but I'm working and walking towards something.


Maybe what I'd like to think, but its a very grey world; the black
and white cross many times, and I'm not talking about anything racist.
Just merely, that there is no right answer anywhere, its not hiding under a rock,
waiting to be found. I hate to say, its not even in the Bible. There's guidelines,
for sure, but nothing that is going to make your decisions, or show you which paths
to choose when you come to junctures along your way.

So, with all that said, as I have always tried to keep learning and prospering in my life, in one way or another, reading now, but through much application when I was younger, out of pure hate for reading and english, in general. But, this learning, which, I believe, is the key to our lives and prospering in these uncertain days, well, everyday, since the dawn of time, because, we are here to further ourselves. And to do such, we must learn and master the elements within our lives.

As we learn, we prosper more and more knowledge, and ideas; what you can call, the result of the combination and amount and type of learning and information you have been exposed to, or actively sought out. In my case, this has led to a many series of questions, for many aspects of the life we live. Mainly, and in the present, the role, status, and effectives of our lives due to government, the economy, the societal economy, not our personal economies, and the media. In my current readings, I find some very convincing ideas for a better system of media and government, which in turn, greatly effects the economy, however, don't let me forget one other major player, large corporations. These have and will always upset and destroy my view of this world as we know it. The fact that this capitalistic, media-, and agenda-, driven society has embraced big business and left all others in its path. For what; for pure greed. Nothing else; so that they could have 10 million dollar homes and 6 cars; a lifestyle well above lavishly living.

This is the norm. And this is the accepted form of behavior for society; to accept these ideals and give in because we have learned to depend on these.

And sadly, this is how it will remain. Even in the light of the stock market, the mortgage industry, the oil industry, and now, the auto industry.

We are falling, and will fall to these agendas of the rich, and super-rich. Just remember, most of them look at most of us, and say poor. Yes, we have these technologies to blog, and bitch. But we also have a hard way out of this level of living. Hell, we have an almost impossible stance to reach, even the lavishly living. Even though, most, just wish for a break.

I don't like to write much anymore.

I need to.