Happiness....

Speaking of suicide, and what I would have to believe would be the ultimate cause, or at least the first layer of the cause, would be lack of the above, happiness. Granted, you don't kill yourself over not being happy, the killing is a last act meant for people who are past unhappiness. Hopelessness, if you will, but even more than that.

However, happiness is something I have seen much of in my meaningless little life growing up in Pittsburgh. Here, you learn to be modest and live in those means. Sure, you dream and hope and wish for more; and maybe even work for more. But all is still seen in a modest sense. I dream for only a small house, a nice car, a nice girl to accompany me, and maybe even a nice job. Nothing too outrageous. Modest. So, experiencing some of the times I've been through, Costa Rica, Penn State, Key West, even something as minimal as Steelers games are just a few examples of things most of the people who are in my life have not and may never get to experience. And I am very lucky.

Still, my thoughts and soul is not pleased or even satisfied most of the time. One of the things I live by, told to my by a 'former' friend, who is that only by choice, but that's another blog, and another long story as is this life. But he said, 'Be happy with what you have, but always want more. Be content, but always strive for something better.' Easy enough, basic quotation on a summation of our lives, that many people have said previous and will continue to spout off as we try to understand this world. But I live by that, or try to, along with other little sayings and words that have inspired me throughout the years and continue to these days. My brother once said 'you don't have to enjoy this, but you have to get through this. And thats life, you just have to trudge through the shit when things are bad.' Again summation and an easy paraphrase for our problems, prob'ly repeated again and again by many, but its true, and for me, at least, its the cliches that get me by. And the final one I'll leave with is actually fall out boy.

'the songs and the words own the beating of our hearts'

seriously, they do, I have it on my chest, seriously. Songs are sometimes all we have...